My kids tried to surprise me for my birthday this morning. I totally heard them coming and snuck out to start a new life somewhere else.
Being a Dad isn’t just about eating a huge bag of gummy-bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word hero.
Just want to wish Billy Ray Cyrus the most special, magical birthday ever. I love you with all my heart. Also, Happy Birthday to my wife.
The guy sitting next to me on the plane placed a tiny chocolate on his tray table. He waited like, 7 hours to eat it. Enjoy hell, fuck-face.
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